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Sergei Tikhanovsky has barely spoken for more than five years.
During all this time, he was detained in isolation in a Belarusian prison with high security for daring to resist a dictator.
Now, the former opposition blogger is free, and the words are spreading so quickly that his thoughts sometimes find it difficult to follow.
“The restriction to speak was the most difficult thing,” said Sergei when we met in Vilnius very shortly after his surprise release.
“When you can’t say anything or write anything, you can’t talk to anyone and you are just trapped in a cell – it’s the most difficult thing – not the restriction of the movement.”
Sergei is now in forced exile, released with 13 other political prisoners after a senior American delegation made a rare visit to the authoritarian sovereign of Bélarus, Alexander Lukashenko.
When I ask questions about the meeting with his family, Sergei launches a hand on her face and cries.
His daughter was only four years old when he was arrested.
“She didn’t recognize me,” he managed finally, after a long break. “Then she threw herself into my arms and we got rid of for a long time.”
The transformation of Sergei since his arrest is shocking.
In 2020, he was stocky and bearded. Now, his face under his narrow shaved head is emaciated. He said he lost almost 60 kg (132 pounds) in prison, where he spent endless weeks in punishment cells.
“Physically, I have half the size and half the weight,” explains Sergei. “But my mind is not broken. Maybe it’s even stronger.”
“Before, I only heard the crimes of this diet, but now I saw them from the first hand and we have to fight this.”
Until last week, Sergei Tikhanovsky was one of the most eminent political prisoners in Bélarus.
Before the 2020 presidential election, he developed a large Youtube who followed candid interviews on complaints and people’s problems.
Then he tried to register to run himself, waving a giant slipper and invoking the Belarusses to “stop the cockroach!”.
“I used the chance to show that it is impossible to win democratically at the Bélarus,” said Sergei. “I wanted to show that the elections are false, and they stopped me.”
When his wife, Svetlana Tikhanovskaya, continued to run in her place, she attracted a huge crowd. After Lukashenko won another incredible victory, these crowds became a mass demonstration which quickly became mass arrests.
In prison, Sergei has been constantly distinguished for sick treatment like other high -level characters – “those they think are the most dangerous, or who they want to destroy”, as he says.
“In the past two and a half years, I was in total isolation. I have not received a single letter for almost three years. For almost three years, they did not let me make phone calls,” he said.
He was not even allowed to see a priest.
“They would say: you will die in prison. We will continue to extend your time and you will not go out.”
To worsen things, Sergei was frequently sent to a punishment cell – for a brand on the wall or a wandering spider web.
“These cells could be three by two meters, including a hole in the ground for the toilet,” he recalls. “No mattress, no leaf and no pillows.”
He got up every hour all night to warm up with sets of squats and rest, then lie on the wooden berth until his arms and legs seized, and he had to start the exercises again.
To cope, he had to empty his brain from all the thoughts of family and friends.
“You have to put this on one side,” he said. “Because if you think about how they are and what happens to them, you will not survive.”
It was last August that Sergei began to think that he could go out.
It was at this point that the assistant prosecutor began to visit the prisons and “recommend seriously” that political prisoners “write to the dictator and ask for his forgiveness” as Sergei says.
Lukashenko was suddenly eager to appear merciful and several dozen were released.
Sergei and the other big names, such as Viktor Babaryka and Maria Kolesnikova, never appeared on any list.
But he has never entertained the idea of confessing, even to return to his children.
“I’m not a criminal,” he said. “It would therefore be a betrayal of all those who support me.”
Last week, the United States intervened.
When the special envoy Keith Kellogg went to Minsk to intercede for American citizens in prison, he also emerged with Sergei.
For Lukashenko, the meeting with Kellogg was a great victory diplomatically.
It has been ostracized by Western countries since it suppressed peaceful demonstrations in 2020.
His active support for Russia in the invasion of Ukraine has still isolated him.
“Now Lukashenko could show that cooperation is starting, a dialogue with the United States,” said Sergei, explaining what Lukashenko has obtained to release prisoners.
“It was the price: the start of contact with him. Because no one had been engaging.”
Sergei wants nothing that all other political prisoners are also released. There are more than 1,000 in total.
In tears, he describes the meeting of a recently “old man” who turned out to be a young friend, aged beyond recognition by prison.
“I would give anything to do them all,” says Sergei. “I think we should pay any price. But I don’t want them to drop all the sanctions.”
Sergei’s wife, now the head of the opposition, is delighted to bring him back with her and their children. But Svetlana tells me that she is wary of the next American move.
“We cannot soften the sanctions as long as repressions do not stop completely,” she says. “For 14 people released, 28 others were immediately detained in Bélarus. For Lukashenko, there is no change in politics.”
Sergei’s first week of freedom has passed into a whirlwind of activity. He met politicians, made speeches and wrote to Donald Trump with his thanks. He also caught up with the time lost with his children – as well as all the news he missed in isolation.
But what about his ambitions? The last time he and Svetlana were together, she was a housewife and he was political. So could there be tensions?
“I have no complaints to his role,” insists Sergei. “I don’t need it. I just need a Democrat Bélarus.”