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Many of us already know the components of a healthy relationship – things like strong communicationTotal honesty and unshakable commitment. But Most people don’t really know What these qualities look like in practice.
As a result, couples can be found in a miserable situation. Worse still, they do not recognize it due to unhealthy habits such as emotional numbers, suppression or normalization of problems. When you are stuck in familiarity and routine, it is difficult to stop and assess your feelings.
Inasmuch as Psychologist who studies couplesI often recommend a quick investigation to couples. If you find yourself answering “no” to all questions, there is a chance that you are unhappy in your relationship, but do not realize it.
1. Do you feel like you were in the same team during the conflict?
In relationships, conflicts are both inevitable and necessary. But the The way you fight count more than what you are fighting. If it always feels like you are against your partner, instead of both of you compared to the problem, it is worth assessing why.
Research Regarding conflicts, resolution shows that when the two partners believe that a disagreement is resoluble, it is more likely to find a path to follow. But you cannot only count on optimism; You need a shared and clear strategy. Otherwise, the arguments can be transformed into emotional duels and over time, lead to distance and resentment.
If your answer to this question is “no”, ask yourself, “Why are we fighting?” If the answer is not the relationship itself, sit together to discuss and restore what a team really means.
2. Can you be your most authentic self around your partner?
THE healthiest relations Give you room to breathe. To laugh hard, shout ugly, do a waste and be weird. Research Note that people who feel safe to express themselves authentically and unrefined are more likely to engage in healthier relational behavior.
If you must constantly remember to delete parts of your personality, you will slowly start losing priceless parts of your identity.
If you answered “no” here, you have to take a break and think. You deserve to be with someone who does not start when he met your most real and honest self. Large partners see this as a special privilege. It shouldn’t look like something that should be “tolerated”.
3. Are they really curious about your inner world?
In the first stages of courtification, curiosity comes naturally. You want to know everything about each other – what they think, how they see the world, which makes them vibrate. But later, this curiosity can decrease.
Research says curiosity is a fundamental tool for emotional intimacy. If your partner ceases to ask questions about your thoughts, feelings or experiences, he will never learn to know the new versions of you who were born every day.
A “no” to this question could suggest that your relationship works on the automatic driver. A partner who is really invested in you will continue to ask, will continue to listen and will continue to learn who you are.
4. First do they responsibility when they spoil?
Errors do not matter as much as the way they are treated overnight. Is your partner owner of his faults and try to do things correctly? Or do they dodge responsibility, do they get a defensive and blame you?
Research On the repair of conflicts tells us that even the smallest gestures – recognize an error, offer sincere excuses, or even use humor – can prevent a spiral argument. But when the responsibility is absent, you will end up wondering if you can trust yourself.
If your partner never appropriates, or if he constantly makes you feel the “difficult” to raise a concern, it could be time to come together and reconsider what keeps you invested. Honesty, humility and a real desire to do better should be a bilateral norm in a relationship.
Mark TraversPHD is a psychologist specializing in relationships. He holds diplomas from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the main psychologist at Awakened therapyA TV company that provides online psychotherapy, advice and coaching. He is also curator of the popular mental health and well-being website, Therapytips.org.
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