Money expert shares the hardest money conversation he and his wife had

Self-fabricated millionaireAuthor and television host Sethi Ramit knows one thing or two about money. He even published books on How to become rich And how Couples can manage their finances together.

But his own financial journey was not perfect. He recently sat with his wife, Cassandra, for a special episode of his Silver podcast for couples Where they answered some of the same questions, he poses couples every week in an interview with a friend Julie Nguyen.

Sethis were married since 2018And Ramit has often shared treats on their relationship on his podcast and in his books, highlighting some of the strategies they have used to navigate finances, winning various income, by creating shared objectives and more.

On the podcast, Ramit and Cassandra agreed with the most difficult money conversation they have ever had as a couple: negotiating their contract of contract before getting married.

“I’m sweating while thinking right now,” said Ramit. “”[The] The first time I raised it, I remember that I had spoken to so many people, I received advice, planned what I was going to say and I was very nervous about it. “”

Cassandra received the idea of ​​a contract contract, he said, but things went south from there.

Many money experts recommend Obtain a prenuptial agreementEven to those who have modest finances. A contract contract is a legal contract describing how a couple wishes their finances to be managed in the event of divorce. Without one, couples could end up leaving these decisions – as who obtains certain assets or who pays support for the spouse – Until a judge.

The prenups are for everyone, the Silver Suze Orman expert expert told CNBC to do In 2020, and individuals should feel comfortable bringing it with their partner.

“If you cannot talk about money to the person you are about to marry, you are condemned to failure because money will go through your relationship more than anything else,” she said.

When Ramit spoke of the idea of ​​a contract contract in Cassandra, he had already started his business and wrote his first book on money. Cassandra didn’t know much about them, but was willing to learn. And although they both agreed to obtain a contract contract, their negotiations have become controversial due to various expectations and understanding of money.

Ramit considered negotiations as strictly financial and tried to let the figures speak for themselves. Cassandra, on the other hand, was more exploited in emotional considerations, which Ramit did not really think.

Ramit tried to make a “generous” offer in his pre-prediction, he said, but Cassandra was more concerned about their relationship and ensuring that their feelings and their emotions were aligned.

“We started going back and forth and I was very confused, very injured because I say to myself:” I am not trying to deceive anyone here “,” said Ramit.

Cassandra finally suggested that the couple sit with a therapist and talk about their emotions to understand where things were not aligned. The therapist asked how they considered each money.

“It really opened conversations that we could not have because my answer was like” growth, of course, look at the composition “. And its answer was:” security “,” said Ramit.

While Ramit was more focused on real figures, Cassandra did not have the financial knowledge to get an idea of Amount of amounts in their savings and investment accounts.

“I will never forget something Ramit told me during this period. You said to me:” I really need you to improve money “,” she said. “I took this very seriously because deep inside, I said to myself:” I know that I am not so good in money. I could improve myself. “”

Although she worked to learn the prenap and the management of money in general, Ramit admitted that he had to improve to talk about emotions so that he could more clearly communicate from where he came and better understand Cassandra’s point of view.

“Retrospectively, you did not ask me to withdraw a calculation sheet F ——. You felt it,” he said. “Looking back, I needed to listen to what you said. I should have asked more questions.”

Today, seven years after their marriage, they still consider what they have learned from their constraint negotiations the most precious lessons they have learned from each other, they said.

Cassandra said that the state of mind about the abundance and the confidence of your gain power “was really revealing”. And Ramit is grateful to have learned from Cassandra the importance of checking your feelings and talking about it.

“It really changed the way I relate to people a lot,” he said.

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