We Bought a ‘Peeing’ Robot Attack Dog From Temu. It Was Even Weirder Than Expected

Elsewhere, I can only assume that the controller has been pumped full of helium, such is its hollow and airy lightness. Inspired by the shape of an Xbox controller, I particularly like the fact that its bumper pimples and triggers are simply formed from a motionless piece of molded plastic. There is something quite beautiful in their total uselessness that I really appreciate.

As for the end of the company, it is a nightmare of ADHD. Strewn with a chaotic fan of buttons in apparently no logical order, I give credit to the designers for having created a controller who laughs at muscle memory.

The first attempts to reverse Clipippy are unsuccessful. The On / off switch does nothing, and the load light remains dead when the USB-C cable is connected. There are no instructions.

The opening of the battery compartment reveals the culprit – the battery is disconnected. Was it to avoid it to flow into transit or reduce the risk of spontaneous combustion? Anyway, it is connected. Clippy lives.

And wow, he is noisy. Integrated speakers are beyond the stride. I desperately look through the carnage of the controller pimples, in the hope of finding a volume or a silent option. There is none.

Naturally, I first press “urinate”. Clippy’s rear paw increases. It was waiting for me. To which I did not expect was a cheerful whistle, and the sound of the water that holds in a toilet bowl.

I look and arrive on the “Pointe” button. I think it will be an impressive test of its dexterity. A point maneuver will surely make several gyroscopes and accelerometers, combining and crunching the data of many sensors in real time to ensure that Clipippy’s body remains perfectly ready for balance.

I press the button and clipipipy immediately – and rather violently – Desfants. The strength of this maneuver takes me to the devoid and the impact is strong. I am worried.

A moment passes, his rear legs rise and they start to contract. I guess this apparent crisis is supposed to represent elegant scissor kicks. This recalls how ants communicate with their antennas, a form of silent communication. “Don’t blame me for brother, did you really expect anything else?” I can almost hear him plead. But, in one way or another, Clippy returns to his feet and seems unscathed, ready for more. Me? I’m not so sure.

In several levels

As I mentioned, the controller has many, many buttons – no less than 17 functions in fact – and I will not bother you with too free descriptions for each. Instead, here is a quick overview of the main buttons, to give you a general idea of ​​some of Clippy’s talents:

Kung Fu: Absolutely zero likely of any martial art movement, or even a cheeky backflip. Instead (and completely inexplicably), a form of lost living room music and by the pool stands. Clipippy “dances”.

Swimming / Dance: I recently saw Usher play live. These two buttons involve a vigorous soil bump that even exceeds its most sexually accused efforts. A really impressive feat. Oh, and a side note for all optimists, Clippy is not waterproof. Don’t repeat it, I don’t do it, I present it in the water.