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It’s the season when everyone is planning for next year. When it comes to money, I can assure you the secret doesn’t lie in some fancy investment tactic, stock market trick, or obscure cryptocurrency.
If you and your partner have only set one financial resolution for 2026, make it: You both stay actively involved in your finances.
As a financial advisor for over 20 years and running my own wealth management company for nine years, I know this is the most important commitment most couples can make. Yet this is missing in many relationships.
The dangers of disconnection
Leaving money in the hands of just one spouse leaves your family vulnerable. If something happens to the one who takes care of everything (illness, death or even divorce), the other has to cope. I’ve helped heartbroken spouses try to piece together accounts, passwords, and plans in the worst times imaginable, and I wouldn’t wish that outcome on anyone.
But even in less dramatic circumstances, it remains ineffective to let a single, overworked person make all the decisions. You miss the power of two perspectives and the disengaged spouse loses agency and trust.
I’ve been around countless couples who, even with the best intentions, lost the plot over time. Most of them never addressed the subtle changes in their dynamic that made it easier for one partner to take the lead with their money. I often found myself with just one client in our financial planning meetings, and their partner, I was told, was too busy, disinterested, worried, or overwhelmed to join us.
For a long time I didn’t understand why, until it happened to me.
“It doesn’t work anymore”
During the pandemic, my wife, Heather, was juggling too much: working as an attorney in the general counsel’s office of a Fortune 100 company, moonlighting as a business consultant for my wealth management firm, and keeping our two daughters and I clothed, fed, entertained, and safe.
Because of the physical, mental, and emotional work she did for all of us, she became disconnected from our household finances. Money seemed to be the only thing she didn’t have to worry about. In truth, it was the only thing I was willing to own from start to finish, and it was damaging our relationship.
I’m grateful she had the courage to say, “It’s not working anymore. » The difficult conversations that followed led us to rethink what we wanted from our careers, how we divided work, and how we could approach money as a team again.
Form a financial team
Talking about money is never just about money, which inspired Heather and I to spend two years interviewing other couples for our new book, “Money Together: How to Find Equity in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Money Team“.
Effective communication is the foundation.
Here are some ways to connect with your intention, move beyond the numbers, and commit to your finances together, even if it’s the hardest thing to do.
- Start with an honest assessment. Set aside a distraction-free time and place to address everything. Do you both have access to your accounts? Are all passwords saved in your password managers? You should both have a basic understanding of your net worth. Review what you earn (cash flow), what you have (assets and investments), what you owe (debt), and what you want (goals).
- Examine time, from each of your points of view. Ask if each of you feels like you have time to do what you want and need to do. You may need to divide responsibilities and automate or outsource less critical tasks to free up time for your finances.
- Create a regular practice. Make recurring money dates non-negotiable. We suggest holding these quarterly, which won’t become overwhelming and will create enough space between meetings to recognize real progress.
- Meet your partner where they are. I’ve often encountered couples where one partner had less knowledge or comfort with finances than the other, and that’s part of the reason they disengaged. This may seem intimidating. Adapt your approach to your partner’s learning style, checking to see what resonates.
- Call on outside help if necessary. A neutral financial advisor or therapist who specializes in financial dynamics can guide difficult conversations without bias and offer financial advice tailored to your specific situation.
When Heather and I finally reconnected around money, it secured our wallets and also deepened our relationship. Make 2026 the year you prioritize staying connected to your finances together – I know from experience how transformative this can be.
Douglas A. Boneparth is the president and founder of A wealth of good faitha New York-based wealth management firm that focuses on millennials, young professionals and entrepreneurs. He is a member of CNBC financier Advisory Board. Boneparth and his wife, Heatherare the co-authors of “Money Together: How to Find Equity in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Money Team“.
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